OH HEYY GORGE,
It’s me your mother, and don’t worry I’m not a regular mom, I’m a cool mom. (..that was a Mean Girls reference, you’ll come to know many of these.)
Firstly, we have just entered the third trimester together. Things are still going swimmingly and all that credit is owed to you. I’m trying to keep the pizza a regular occurrence as an award for your good behaviour. However, I must mention I have started ‘snissing’ (sneeze pissing) it’s not ideal at all but I guess that means you're growing bigger, and if clean knickers and good hygiene is the sacrifice I have to make for a big ol' healthy baby then I am ok with that, your father might not be though. So you’re moving a lot, kicking and squirming away and it’s the most delightful feeling. You are already the best part of my day.
So there is an estimated 89 days until you join us earth side and shits about to get reaaally real. I wanted to give you the low down on the tribe you’re entering (even though you obviously can’t read this. Unless I print it off and swallow and still, it would travel straight into your stomach through the umbilical cord and with you being an unborn child you’re unable to read. Ok.. anyway.
I pretty much run shop around here. I am a photographer by trade, mainly newborns and families so get used to that lil legend, my own personal model. I am a chocoholic and you probably will be too, as I’ve eaten approx. 37 blocks of chocolate since the sperm met the egg, Top Deck being my drug of choice. My favourite movie is Home Alone, and I like to think of myself similar to Kevin as I often leave pranks and scare-tactics around for your dad- who is not at all a fan of this kind of slap stick humour....And I always keep up with the Kardashians.
I have one older sibling who will be your favourite aunty, we do many brunches together and you’ll have to join them, so it’s probably best you grow to like her plus she pays for the Netflix account. You’ve got Nanna, just round the corner. Although I don’t imagine she will be spending much time ‘around the corner’ once you have arrived, she is very, very excited for your arrival and speaks to you often. It was always just us three until the boys came along uncle Geoff and Patrick (your dad).
Which brings us to your papa, Patrick. He is legitimately the loveliest man to ever walk the earth. His best qualities included hard as fuck working, rather funny (but sometimes lame), his height, his ability to make up songs on the spot, his green eyes, kind heart and his understanding of where he stands in the house pecking order (after the dog. Hehe.) He is an engineer/instahubby/dreamer/podcast lover/book worm. He is where you will get your brains from.
He grew up with his twin brother Nick who you will call Uncle Method. Uncle Method will teach you a lot about music. Gran and Poppa Mac are their parentals and they are all about being nurturing and calm. Poppa loves his garden and Gran loves her books, you will learn many things from these two.
Unfortunately, you’re not our first baby or our most loved…our hearts belong to Atticus. Our (almost) two-year-old beaglier. Now people have said to us ‘once the baby comes Atticus will take a backseat’ ummm no he won’t. he literally doesn’t even sit in the backseat of the car. He’s in front (your dad is in the back). He’s more than just a dog, he can open every door in the house and sits at the table so yeah, he’s not your normal 4 legged friend. He is your big brother and if you beat him on cuteness it’ll be a real credit to you. Atticus sleeps a lot and with any luck so will you.
Anyway, we vow to make this home a happy one for you, that also looks nice (for the gram). We will always help you to feel supported to be whoever you want to be except a Nickleback fan. We pinky swear we will take time to ask about your day and will make sure we master our sarcasm so you think we are being real deal interested in your Lego creation. We will guide you, laugh with you and love you. We can’t wait to have you in our arms and kiss your wonderful hands that you will use to create wonderful things. Whether you grow up to win a noble prize or a participation award in a hot dog eating comp, we will always be in your corner, proud as punch. See you in 89 days’ gorge, can’t wait to have a side kick as sweet as you.